Saturday, August 31, 2013

MY BOOK

http://www.amazon.com/Shaded-dreams-hazy-days-psychotic/dp/1492162000/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377966221&sr=8-1&keywords=shaded+dreams+and+hazy+days


MY FIRST PUBLISHED BOOK

SHADED DREAMS AND HAZY DAYS

Saturday, July 13, 2013

burnt rhymes

burnt rhymes
dry rose
and her last words
a song in my head i can't get her off my head
the atmosphere is gloomy and dread
i feel dead
so i sing
sing
missed calls
a hundred letters
head held with hands
as I'm staring at the ground
when she's not around
so i sing
i sing
i sing for those good old days when we're together
i sing for those broken vows that our love will last forever
i sing now when she passes by we act like we don't know each other
my heart flickers
but i sing
and nothing can stop me from singing
burnt rhymes
i could not keep them
for they would have killed me if any would read them
dry rose in my journals
and her old love letters
that i know them by the heart
she's out of site
but in my heart
i sing
i sing for those good old days when we're together
i sing for those broken vows that our love will last forever
i sing now when she passes by we act like we don't know each other
my heart flickers
but i sing
and nothing can stop me from singing
burnt rhymes
those that i wrote with my tears
dry rose
and all those years
I'm still stranded
it's out of my hand
her last words
as i'm staring at the ground
i walked home
tears falling on the sand
now she's gone
i don't feel found
but i sing
my heart flickers
but i sing


Saturday, July 6, 2013

stillborn tears

stillborn tears in my eyes make them blurry and i see I'm stronger than my sorrows
not strong to hold my tears but man enough to weep I'm not ashamed to say it
i don't forgive myself because i still can't forgive her as my redemption lies in the past
time is the best cure i told her but infinite won't be suffice to end my hell without her

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Poem in my head

a poem in my head
that sounds more like a murmur
it comes and go and i can't write it down
because i've been down this road before
i've be been miscible crumbled into myself rolling on the floor
with a joint in ma hand and whiskey bottle in the other
i've done this before
and now, and now i'm going through this road again
i'm still insane
and there is no remedy from this melody in my head
that sounds more than a requiem for a dear beloved dead
in a gloomy day one tear rolling on the floor
ive been here before
and i've been chanting my pain for ages now
and the question is just how
how could i be such a fool
how could you fool me with those fake eyes of yours
how could i fall for you
and why you left with a small note says there's nothing in ma hand that's a slave deed
how could you betray our love how could you leave me dread
with a song that sounds more like weeping in my head about tears and roses i'm a free man
tears should never been shed roses should never been gave
i am a king and kings shouldn't fall for slaves

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

i curse the moon

As I passed by the castle
Where I used to be a knight
I stared at the ruins
Of the glory that bards used to sing
And all I heard was predatory Howling
And the dark of ravens in the sky
I couldn’t take it
I want to hide inside my head
As I walked beneath the grayish twilight
A gloomy site
The fire has eaten everything
Between the dark blue noise
I thought I heard that voice
It said she’s waiting for you
In the ancient temple
Behind the stream
But I knew
It’s all lies
And the walls of the castle
Would deceive me
Who am I
Just a homeless in a place that I used to call home
Just a shadow amongst the darkness where I used to live the light
And under the gloomy grayish twilight
I saw her walking towards me from a distance
Down the stream
Beside the ancient temple ruins
Could it be that I am dreaming
Could it be that she too survived
A sign of life between the shades
Beside the dead fountain
There she was in black cloak
As the cold wind brought her perfume to my lungs
I felt alive
So I took her in my arms
I let a tear
She wasn’t real
She just vanished through the shades
And I fell to my knees
On the rocky streets of the old town
Where I used to be the child
I just wept by the stream
My bitter tears emerged the water
And my dreams found their way to the cemeteries
I’m a stranger in this place
Where they all died
I will live with my disgrace
And every day I just walk amongst the ruins
Amongst my memories
The place is dead
Where I used to be a youth
White of hairs burnt my head
I am close to fall dead
And all I wanted was one last time
To see the place where I used to be a king
Where I used to drink and sing
Where we never knew the sorrows
Where we thought that tomorrow
Will never bring us so much pain
Will never ever break our hearts
And beneath that tree by the stream
Where we both lived a dream
Where we had our first kiss
Where the air carried the words of I love you of our lips
We never knew that we’re destined to be torn apart
On that place where I used to be alive
I curse that day when I was the only who survived
I curse the moon and its light in a long long lonely night
I curse myself it is true I survived but I just ran I didn’t fight

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Only me, myself and I

Only me, myself and I in my insulation
At night insomniac, me my guitar and desperation
Coffees are wine… wine and coffee
Am I asleep or awake, sober or stoned?
Trapped between my guitar and my bottle made my mold
Chocked with a scream
There goes my dream
As I wondered who am I
Falling into frustration
It’s me who had it all in my hands and I let go
It’s me who ran the hills of heaven with joy and I didn’t know
And now I know
Now I know
Only me, myself and I in my insulation
In a bar full of people as I play my giutar with exhilaration
Then there she was
At the door
Chocked with words
I couldn’t sing
As she said hi
And her voice rang
In my ears
I can’t rely on my hallucinations
It’s me who had it all in my hands and I let go of it
It’s me who ran the hills of heaven with laughter and I didn’t realize it
Now I know… it was you…
It was you

prologue

When you’re in drugs, nothing is real nothing is certain as a drug addicted you know that as one I know that. Your life lies somewhere between blurred oblivion and dizzy reverie. In the 1st time you do drugs you’re happy funny and careless. Chronic junkies are miserable boring self centered and restless… zombies. So why do we do drugs? Speaking of myself I’m a realistic by nature my brains is killing me so I’m just returning the favor. Oh yeaaaaah. I’m in the car right now next to a fancy restaurant where my girlfriend is waiting and it’s the big day. Right after this cocaine pump. Helllllllllll yeah. Where were we? Right… in the car with a diamond ring in my jacket and a dream I want it to come true. I’m gonna go in there and propose to her. Sarah My baby Sarah  She’s everything a man wish for. pretty smart thoughtful and above all… she loves me for all the things that makes me the jerk who I am. Cocaine is talking or as I prefere to believe I insulated my brain letting my feelings navigates me. It takes lots of courage to take such a step. Proposal Which I lack or maybe I don’t have any… courage. That’s why cocaine is so important in my life you shouldn’t trust that but I do somehow it always worked with me. And I’m sure it will now.
Between reverie and oblivion cocaine does the talking for you you’re lost but you just keep walking where ever it takes you that’s just your destination. It’s always a bad ass story just like mine… just like ours.
In the restaurant I took my steps heavy and filled with indecision toward Sarah. There she was sparkling as always if she wasn’t a doctor she would be a super model. From head to toes I scanned her with my eyes my stoned eyes. Man she’s a mermaid a nymph no she’s a goddess only if those entities exists. And I’m just… Max.
Hey baby
Hey… as we kissed I smelled her scent that drove me even more stoned
I missed you so much..How are you?
Hmmm good. I missed you too
How was your day?
Not bad. Well actually horrendous… it was
Oh… why what happened?
I lost a patient
Oh my… I’m sorry
….
It’s not the 1st time is it???
Yeah… What ever
You did everything you could?
Aha
So why are you upset?
I’m not. I wasn’t… when we told her parents. Her mother fell on the ground. And she died too
Oh my god
That’s what happened
This is just crazy

I hate my job now
We all do. Don’t we…
Good evening Sir. Mess
Good evening
What would it be? Tonight we ha… just get me a bottle of whiskey
And You? Sir
Ah… hmmmm we will just stick to the whiskey. Thank you
This would make my task only harder or just easy… the night was young and I had it all planned. Now it’s dead. Just like her patient and her mood. I know when she orders whiskey she gets edgy and I better just avoid her. However it worth a shot… I’ll do it either way. I just can’t wait any more.
Sarah
Yes hon
Weeeee….ve been together for over a year now and I’ve come to realize…
That’s you’re so important to me and without you… cocaine isn’t talking…
Without you…  without you… I am just……..
What? Max
I’m deeply in love with you and… and… I told myself cut the crap Max break it for her…
I took her hand in mine… posted a kiss on it. And I reached to the ring in my pocket
Sarah… wou…
Her cell phone rang. Damn. It was a bad ass story just like many of our nights together. The hospital calls her for an emergency.
Aha… okay… I’m on my way.
You have to go?
I have to go

Sorry.. I’m really sorry
Don’t be… it’s your duty. Right
I’m glad you understand

So… you were saying???
Saved by the waiter … the whiskey sir
Thank you
Can I get you anything else?
The check please.
You’re leaving this early?

Just get us the check Mr … I’m really sorry Max
I ruined it as usual. I’ll make it up for you… I promise… love you. She kissed me good bye and fled.
Right then I had a moment of clarity
We’ve been together for over a year now and I’ve come to realize that mermaids nymphs goddesses doesn’t exist Which made me reconsider the whole marriage proposal thing For the better good for both of us Specially me.

Monday, January 16, 2012

my best jeans


These r my best JEANS ,I was high on some stuff I don’t even remember.
Me and ma thugs just hit the roads we found ourselves at ALEXANDRIA.
We hit the mall 1st then at the gate I saw that gurl. She was getting out I was going in, me and ma drugged eyes out, Red.
She and her blue eyes. For few seconds we just stared. Then I realized its rude so I looked away. Then I realized its stupid , she was goin so I moved aside.
She said one thing, welcome I mean yes I mean thx, then she smiled and went on her way.
My best jeans were on, and we got few beers, then suddeny at the sunset I was at sea, MEDITRIAN SEA, he opened his arms and said comeone. like follow the sun..
Trust me and follow the sun, ill take u to italy or spain or france or greek or Syria or Lebanon or the outgoverned HOLYLANDS of PALESTINE. I had my knife of me that day I didn’t have any swimming suits, so I cut my jeans, turned it into shorts. Like the idiot I closed ma eyes with voice of the waves and and lyrical winds complex, I just hit the water, laughing like the crazy.these r my best JEANS. They were blue ocean deep, time went on, its still my best JEANS. It's clear sky blue.now.but ill always remember her smile. And if we meet again id tell her, I had the sea to hit, and i hit your eyes. Am not afraid of the sea, but those eyes of you terrified me. Finally me and ma thugs were at the edge of the beach hitting the wet sands of ALEXANDRIA. The moon was out, and I followed the signs and the speed limits, back to CAIRO, all the way I swimmed into another eyes, those eyes id hit, ill trust them and follow the moon, even if I ended in hell. Those r my best jeans am not giving'em away.